Saturday, January 24, 2009
Walking into Walls
I have finally slept the past two nights. Thank goodness. My mood is still really high, maybe too high, as I keep catching myself talking and talking and talking. I need to listen more. I hate when I am interrupting and overwhelming people during a conversation. It is rude, but I cannot seem to stop talking. Every idea sends another to my brain and I am thrilled with the world. Unfortunately, my talkativeness is even annoying to me and I can see it is a bit too much for others. How do you explain what is going on inside your head and how you cannot seem to control your ideas or your voice from expressing all the ideas.
I love that I have energy though. I have been playing with my nieces and can actually keep up with them. When I am depressed I usually burnout and become overwhelmed pretty quickly. I adore them so much. It is good to thoroughly enjoy their energy and to have the same.
I am having a few other problems though. My hands are twitching. Either my whole hand, or sometimes just my fingers suddenly twitch, almost like a twitch when your reflexes are tapped. This morning I almost dropped my coffee a few times when I twitched.
The worse thing...you might find it funny if you were watching me...I am tipping into walls and walking into things. Yesterday I walked quite hard into a sign post while walking with my in-laws...embarrassing. Not sure if it is balance, or spaciness...Regardless, walking into sign posts is not good.
However, tipping and poor balance aside, I will take this good mood and all its energy and tippiness over sadness and lethargy any day. With the Joy comes an intense return of my love for music, movies, ideas and the company of others. I will enjoy this feeling now, and remember it if my mood sinks. I know now joy and happiness are within me. It is possible for me to feel happy again.