The Power of Virtual Friends

I've been awake since 3am at 5am I decided sleep was not going to show up and got out of bed. I rose to support and caring from some Internet friends... Thank you.

I think people underestimate the power of communication found among people connecting via the Internet. My blog has always created a sense of belonging for me, a sense, and often instantaneous feedback, that I am not the only one struggling with mental illness. I know that should be obvious, but when depression grabs hold of me my first reaction is both to isolate, and to feel alone. My blog provides me with a connection to others that I find invaluable.

I have been really struggling this past week. This morning I woke and found cookies on my virtual doorstep from Eliza Jane, a new?, or previously silent? (forgive me if my memory is mistaken) blog visitor, and another reason to live and cyber hugs, from Valerie, another Internet connection. Harriet sent me words of encouragement yesterday, and a couple days prior EJA, HBW, xthedestroyer and Harriet showed up to provide support and kind words.

This is a constant for me; "strangers", or rather cyber friends, showing up when I need a helping hand. These gifts provided me with a different perspective this morning (and do anytime friends comment). Thank you.

Throughout the past few years I have felt an incredible and truly powerful connection with many people who comment on my blog. These are people I would love to meet: People I can see are full of love and caring for their fellow human beings. I feel blessed to be a small part of each of their lives. I would jump at the opportunity to meet almost any of the people commenting on my blog.

Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it.

On another note:
...I looked up "dialectics"...just in case I was jumping to conclusions about Dr. X's use of the word...(Moi? Jump to conclusions? I am an idiot. It simply refers to an "argument"
...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectic

In Want of Nothing

Me: If you could have any one thing in the world what would you want?
Friend: I do not want anything. I have everything I need.
Me: Really??
Friend: Yes, my life is perfect.

I sat there and listened incredulously to my close friend's answer to my question. "What do you mean", I asked. "You are on disability, you have a mental illness, you are depressed much of the time. You must want something?"

He replied, " I have a good place to live. I have great friends. I have enough money for what I need. I have the opportunity to help others each week, I have my art supplies for painting, and I have work when I am able to work. I don't need anything else.

I sat there thinking how remarkable it was that my friend felt so confident that his life was perfect. This friend had many more difficult things to deal with than I did. Their past had been much more hauntingly tragic than mine ever had. They had lived through a difficult childhood, bipolar disorder, severe drug addictions, sexual exploitation and homelessness and here they were very content with very little.

As my friend spoke it made me realize they had much more than me. They had a very strong support system in their friends and their home.

In my session yesterday morning I was expressing how empty and worthless and meaningless my life feels. Dr. X discussed with me the importance of the very same things my friend expressed were important: strong connections with a good group of friends, work (albeit not "work" in the traditional sense), service towards others, and a means of releasing and expressing my creative self.

My friend, and Dr. X are wise beyond their years. I am going to endeavor to find peace in friendship, service to others in my volunteering efforts and self expression through my art. I want to want nothing. I suspect I may find the peace I need in those three things.