I suppose my post today is about thinking critically about any medical treatment you choose, or do not choose. It is about deciding for yourself, maybe with or without someones help, what you are willing to try to achieve your mental health goals. Please do not decide not to follow your psychiatrists treatment plan simply because someone told you someone, somewhere, but they can't remember who or where, had a bad reaction to a particular treatment. Some people have bad reactions to aspirin, it doesn't mean everyone should stop taking, or never take aspirin.
I've noticed more than average antimedication, antitreatment, antipsychiatry comments on my posts lately. Generall,y my first reaction when I read these comments is to become annoyed and brush off the comments as antipsychiatry propaganda or unbalanced, undereducated opinion, or opinions not informed by facts.
I am aware that some of my reaction is a reflection of my own irritation that the treatments I try aren't working. Some of my reaction though is worry that someone, who may really need help for their mental illness, may read the comment and without thinking critically about the other side of the information, might decide they are too afraid to seek treatment, or try a particular treatment.
Today I began thinking that the people/person writing the comments may have had some very bad/awful experiences of there own in psychiatric treatments,; either with the treatments themselves, or the medications. I suppose if I were not completely confident that I was being treated in the best manner possible I might feel that way too. I hope, if people have had bad experiences with their treatment for mental illness, that they find the power inside themselves to find a therapist or psychiatrist that they feel they can trust. I know for me, when nothing seems to help, just having a psychiatrist I connect with on a very deep level helps me keep trying to get better.
I am sorry to see people are having/or have had such negative experiences with their doctors, or medications, or other aspects of psychiatric treatment. It is ironic that although I do not seem to get better, I feel absolutely no anger, or annoyance or fear that I am not receiving the best care possible. You would think after so many failed treatments I might be anti-medication, or anti-ECT, or anti-therapy. I am not. In fact I feel that being treated with so many things has helped me learn about all the treatments available to people. It has also taught me I am very blessed to have Dr. X as my therapist/psychiatrist: very, very blessed.
I read somewhere (Maybe in a book called "Bipolar Disorder: A guide For Patient's and Families", by Francis Mark Mondimore, M.D....great book by the way IMO) that people used to die from being manic. Given there were no mood stabilizer to slow them down they would sometimes just collapse from exhaustion. Given how little was available to help people with mental illnesses even 30 or 40 years ago, I find it remarkable how much has been, and is being developed to help people now.
Some of the comments lately (and in the past) focus on how dangerous the side effects of a particular medication or treatment can be. Part of my difficulty with some of these comments is that they often relay unbalanced, inaccurate, or highly subjective "knowledge". For example, one commenter wrote:
"Antipsychotics are very dangerous drugs and can even cause Parkinson's disease and Tardive Dyskinesia...Many psyche drugs can cause permanent damage to the brain and nervous system...ECT causes memory loss - BRAIN DAMAGE....It has been my experience that most people are depressed for a valid reason...It sometimes goes all the way back to childhood. For someone who is considering incurring brain damage to rid themselves of a problem, I would ask this: What unpleasant truth are you willing to damage yourself in order to hide?" (from, ECT Media Portrayals of Depression comment)
(Note: I am using this particular comment as an example because it covers a range of concerns similar to many of the comments other people, who suggest psychiatry/psychiatric treatments don't work, are dangerous etc., often make,)
My understanding of some of the above treatments considers some of what this commenter has suggested. Yes, I believe use of antipsychotics should be carefully considered, because there is a potential for side effects such as Tardive Dyskinesia, and other unwelcome/dangerous side effects. As a patient I need to decide if my illness warrants taking the chance with the side effects of the medications I try. I have decided that for me, the pain of my continued depression, is far worse than my fear of a side effect that I may, "potentially", (not "necessarily"), experience.
As for "ECT caus[ing] memory loss- brain damage": I understand that memory loss is a fear, and sometimes. or for some, a side effect of ECT. I have had ECT though, and while I did experience some memory loss around the time I was receiving the treatments, I don't believe I permanently lost any memory. I could be mistaken, given that even when I was experiencing short term memory loss while being treated with ECT, it was not me who was noticing it. It was my family members. I couldn't remember, what I couldn't remember(...ha, ha.) Regardless, my choice to try ECT was informed and in fact it was my idea to try it. People underestimate how severe depression can be, and how hard it can be to treat sometimes. My depression was severe enough, and treatment resistant enough for me to decide that even if I had memory loss from ECT, it was worth trying a treatment that was shown to be highly effective in treating depression. I was willing to lose a few memories for the hope of feeling better mentally.
Last, but not least, this commenter, and others with similar concerns, has suggested my depression continues because of some "hidden", or unresolved "truth" from childhood. The truth is I had parents who were at times imperfect...imagine! Like everyone mine childhood was not perfect. Maybe at times my childhood experiences were devastatingly awful, but at times, in fact I'd say most times I had it pretty good. My parents loved me and tried to be good parents. I do have difficulty accepting and understanding some of my experiences in childhood, but I have worked hard in therapy to learn to manage, understand and for the most part accept and forgive some of the bad things. While sometimes I wonder if I have some deep dark hidden secret in my brain somewhere...locked away so deep that I cannot remember...I feel pretty confident that is not the case.
I work hard in therapy with Dr. X and I worked hard in therapy with every therapist I saw. I am open and able to articulate my feelings and work through my experiences. While my depression often makes me ashamed of things, when I am in therapy I work hard to ensure any shame about any memories or experiences is challenged and dealt with. It is not likely that my brain has hidden something from me, some deep dark secret that I cannot face. I feel pretty confident I could face any truth in therapy, especially with Dr. X. because I know he accepts me anyway I am.
For me there is no deep dark past that is keeping me depressed. My depression is keeping me depressed That's it, and I will do all I can, use any and all weapons available to me in the psychiatric arsenal to fight that depression. Of course I will learn about any of the medicines and treatments before I agree to try them. For me though, rejecting theses treatments outright because I am afraid of what I don't know, or because I hear bad things about them, or because I hear/read about other's bad experiences, is not my way of doing things. I try to check out all sides of the story, learn as much as I can, read balanced information, look for scientific information and then make a decision based on as much fact, and as little conjecture as possible.
I know no science is perfect. Mistakes are made. Drug and treatment side effects can be devastating ands sometimes permanent. Companies selling things like medication, treatments, help etc. sometimes lie and cheat. Pharmaceutical companies' studies are sometimes falsified or sometimes only positive drug trial outcomes are published. There are good and bad therapists/psychiatrists, and people in general, out there. It is not easy knowing what will or will not help or harm you.
I believe all we can do is try to find a psychiatrist/therapist whose education, knowledge and experience we trust, take the responsibility to look into treatments offered to us and try to understand the pros and cons, and decide for ourselves what we are willing to try to help ourselves become healthier. For some, they will decide no treatment is the best treatment for them, for others they will willingly try anything their psychiatrist suggests. For me, I will try any treatment that my psychiatrist thinks might help, if I feel is more likely to help me than harm me and I can see that the potential for benefits outweighs the potential for unacceptable side effects. We (my pdoc and I) may not always make the right choices, but they are well thought out choices and the choices I am willing to live with.
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