Saturday, August 16, 2008

Today is My New Birthday

(Photo: by Aqua, "Transformation", August 2008)

In respect of, and to reinforce the powerful message, Wednesday's dream , "The Wolf Returns", sent me: Today I am changing my life. I am throwing away the old me and moving in a different direction. From this day forward I am reborn.

I will never feel any remorse or guilt over anything I did in the past. I accept that I did what I was able to do at the time. I will never again feel guilt for being depressed, or on disability for depression. I will accept that I did not cause this illness. It happened and all I can be expected to do is try to make myself feel better. I will also accept that sometimes my illness makes it difficult to do anything to help myself. During those times I will do whatever I CAN do to keep trying.

As of today here is the new me:
  • I am a painter.
  • I am an artist.
  • I am a writer.
  • I am an art teacher.
  • I am a photographer.
  • I am creative.
  • I am disabled by my depression right now, but I am NOT my disability.
  • I will accept my disability income as a blessing and a gift that allows me the opportunity to grow into the human being I am meant to become.
  • I will be here today, and present now.
  • I will not worry about tomorrow.
  • I will soak up today.
  • I will see all the beauty in the world, like a new child, through my new eyes.
  • My life will be full of beauty, and I will recognize that.
  • My new life will be full of love and I will pass that on.
  • My new life will be full of compassion, for myself and for others.
  • I will accept my mental illness as the catalyst, the mother and the origin of, my new and improved life.
  • I will embrace my depression like a mother embraces a crying child. I will hold it, and care for it, and accept that the crying may pass, or it may not, but the crying child is always a beautiful being trying to express his or her needs to the world.

5 comments:

kara said...

wow. i am blown away at the authority of your words. i'm behind you...100%. and stand with you that you are not your disability. i'm overcome with emotion!

this too shall stay...

Michelle said...

The power of those words comes from a strong person. Whenever you waiver I hope you can come back to this post and read your own conviction with new commitment.

Happy New Birthday to you! g

Annie@therarpistwith bipolar said...

Aqua, what a beautiful post. I am inspired by your message and believe we might all do well to be born a new person each day. I am also touched by the compassion you show for yourself given your illness. Your seem to be making strides and leaps in recovery and wellness. Thank you for the message. Annie

Polar Bear said...

Such brave words. I applaud your courage, Aqua.

A very happy birthday and welcome to a brand new life!

Tamara said...

Wow. How strong you are! Good for you and very happy new birthday.

This is inspirational.