Saturday, November 14, 2009

Physical Pain

I don't know if I do this because of my depression...I will get physically unwell/sick, or get an infection, or have pain, or whatever physical problems people get, and I leave it and leave it and leave it until it is so bad I am certain it is real and I'm not just imagining it. It is like I don't trust my judgement about my own body, or I think I'm being hypochondriacal, or maybe I just try to deny there is a problem.

There is a problem. About 3-4 months ago I started feeling like my fingers were losing mobility. They were stiff and I was having trouble opening packages, and jars because they were so stiff; especially in the morning, or after laying down.

Over the past few weeks my hands have become so sore and stiff at night that I cannot even bend my fingers, or pinch them then together enough to pull my covers up, or fix my pillow position. I have been using the palms of my hands to pull things up, and move things around instead.

A couple weeks ago I realized that this stiffness and pain had to be real and was getting much worse at a very rapid rate. I told Dr. X finally. He ordered some blood tests (inconclusive) and then told me that I needed to see my family doctor for more tests or something?

My first thought when the tests were inconclusive was that I am imagining the pain and loss of movement. (Why I would do that I don't have a clue).

These past couple days my fingers, hands, and my left arm are aching so bad it feels like my elbow is healing from being broken. Tje feeling in my lower arm/elbow is the same, just as painful, as it was the first few weeks after my elbow was broken...throbbing. My fingers ache.

Right now I cannot bend my ring fingers at all past the middle joint, and my movement is bad and painful at that joint too. The rest of my fingers have varying degrees of pain and stiffness...but my hands as a body part are rapidly losing mobility. I feel pretty scared about how fast this is coming on and because I don't know why.

I have an appointment with a specialist, but not until late December. If this rate of mobility loss continues I am getting afraid I will lose all mobility in my hands. On top of that, the pain is getting so much worse. I've tried Advil, but it doesn't seem to help. Warm water helps some, and the cold outside makes it much worse. Dr X said to exercise my hands, keep them mobile, but they hurt when I try to bend my fingers and now it is starting to hurt and feel difficult to move the larger joints at the base of my fingers. I can't even hold onto my dog's leash, I have been wrapping it around my arm.

I think this physical pain/fear is feeding a downward spiral in my mood...this is not what I need right now.


merope3 said...

if you are having any kind of pain in your arms, particularly your left arm, you should rule out the possibility of a heart problem.

Always take pain seriously. Even if it's "all in your head" your body (or your mind) is trying to tell you something important.

abby said...

it sounds like it could be rheumatoid arthritis....i hope not!!! but it does not sound like you are imagining it. i'm glad you're headed for your doctor, and i hope he can figure out what's happening.

Polar Bear said...

That sounds pretty scary. Having to wait till late December seems like such a long time to wait for something so potentially serious. I just hope it won't get worse.

Anonymous said...

It might be neurological problems caused by the use of drugs. More than likely the Seroquel. No doctor will admit that, though, so you are probably going to have to research it on your own and figure it out for yourself. The doctors will probably just do what they always do and dump more drugs to mask the damages of the ones you're already on. I wish you wisdom.

Aqua said...

Not the Seroquel, because the problem began before I began taking that medication, and I don't think heart problem as I have no other symptoms of heart problems...My doc. suggested rheumatoid arthritis, which it seems to be most like...affects my hand/arms on both sides, hurts most and mobility worse when have been inactive, sleeping, or laying down.

This really worries me.

Harriet said...

Lyme disease? Have you been anywhere lately where you could have been bitten by a tick? This is the time of year when it is very prevalent where I live.

Aqua said...

Harriet...Seriously...Lyme Disease was my first thought, because I am outdoors a lot and one of my Mom's dearest friend's daughter has what she is certain is Lyme disease that went undiagnosed and her symptoms are very similar.

It has been a nightmare for her because her doctor kept telling her that the Canadian medical system says her there is no Lymer disease in BC so will not treat her...There is something about two tests they do and supposedly hers were negative...but when she went to the USA Dr out of desperation..they told her the tests were not always right when they said negative.

(I actually think even if they could now it is too late to help her much.

As I write this I was about to say I have never seen the "rash" they show comes with Lyme disease...but about 4 months ago I did have a rash on my back that would not go away and it has come back a few times...I never actually looked at the rash as I assumed it was my a new spot of psoriasis(which I have had since I was a kid)

I hope it's not Lyme disease, but I will ask to be tested for that, just in case...the sad thing about Lyme disease is , from what I understand, it can be treated with I never understood why this woman's Dr would not have just treated her...just in case

Harriet said...

As common as Lyme disease is here, it still goes undiagnosed. And sometimes you won't get the rash, that doesn't mean you don't have the disease. The doctors are correct - there are frequent false negatives (not sure if there are false positives). I'm not sure of the prevalence of Lyme in BC, but I find it hard to believe that anyone can say it totally doesn't exist there. And I'm not sure why doctors don't prescribe antibiotics if they suspect Lyme, but don't have proof. Fear of antibiotic overuse I suppose.

What did your blood tests test for? I wish you could see someone sooner than late December. You're not the first person whose blog I read who is in Canada and has to wait a long time to see specialists.

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