Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I Can't.

I thought, if I focused on what made me happy, if I did all the things on my schedule I committed to, if I had a benevolent schedule set up, and if I kept pushing and pushing through my decrease in mood; I thought I could stave of falling into the black hole of depression again.

I tried, and am trying, but I can't change the direction I am headed, farther and farther into another cycle of depression. I am so tired right now I feel literally sick. Driving the last two blocks on my way home today I could barely stay awake. All I want to do is sleep. I am weepy, and anxious and irritable. I feel dead again. I can't keep trying anymore.

4 comments:

Harriet said...

I'm so sorry things are going downward. Give yourself what you need, lots of rest, eating right, etc. I hope Dr. X has some good suggestions for you. Please keep trying.

Bossy Boots said...

Keep going, the light will come back. Depression seems endless but it doesn't last forever. Just treat yourself right, be good to yourself. Take it easy.

XX
Bossy Boots

Andrew said...

For whatever it's worth, you're not alone.

Lisa Marie said...

You can keep going. Even though it seems like you aren't doing anything, choosing to be here is fighting the depression. Fake it til you make it. You are not alone.