Monday, March 24, 2008


My second painting: "Ascension"

I am so creative right now it feels like the old me has come back. I feel like myself for the first time in 6.5 hellish years. I have a hyperthymic temperment and when well I can do a million things at once, but remain extremely focused on each task. That is how I have felt for 4 glorious days.
In those days I have completed 2 paintings (One yesterday and one the day before), and I have began two others. It is remarkable. I sat down to paint yesterday at 10:30 am and finished at 7:30 p.m. I was so engrossed in what I was doing.

This painting is titled "Ascension". Fitting that I painted it on Easter Sunday. I was thinking of lots of things as I painted it. it is a mixed reference to my increase in mood. The obvious portrayal is a cross, yet the Christ figure is a female. She is descending into the ocean (This is the way I would like to commit suicide).

I called it "Ascension" because of the belief that Christ had to die, before he ascended. (The woman is drowning). Sort of a metaphorical description of how I often see my only hope in suicide. I feel in suicide I will at the very least end my suffering, which is better than life when I suffer. Not that I see myself as a Christ figure. According to the bible his death ended others suffering. Suicide would end only my suffering, not others;>)

While I am not really religious I am very interested in religion and probably obsess over it.
I like the idea of the unknown woman under the shroud, chained and bound by something outside herself. Maybe also a reference to how I find it difficult to know who I am. If you look closely the chains around her neck are clasped with a padlock that repeats the cross in the place where the lock would be.

I know there are errors of perception in the painting, and the colours in the picture do not do it justice. The original has more yellow and blue in it. Despite seeing things I need to change in the painting I love what I did here though. It is approximately12 inches my 36 inches.


Polar Bear said...

wow. Your paintings are gorgeous! You are very talented.

jcat said...

Awesome. I can't see anything wrong with the perspective, and I really like the symbolism.

Would you really want to drown? I can't see myself ever doing that, maybe because of being a swimmer since tiny, and a diver too. And because fat is so damn buoyant anyway that it would need a lot of work to stay under long enough...

James said...

Wow. I love this one. You know how much I love symbolism in art and the shading is fantastic.

I especially like the deep, haunting shades of green, yellow and dark green in the background. They really give the sense of being in the dark depths of a lake or some other body of water. Very powerful imagery involved in this piece.

I'm painting again too. I should show you how far I've gotten. I started an art blog but I kind of abandoned it but maybe I'll jump start it again.

Again, good work!! :)

Aqua said...

Thanks you so much for the supportive is so hard for me to share what I do for fear of disapproval, or rejection. All three of you have been so supportive of me and I really appreciate that.

James: I really, really want to see more of your paintings...I will keep showing you mine if you show me yours;>) Paint on!!