Ascension

My second painting: "Ascension"

I am so creative right now it feels like the old me has come back. I feel like myself for the first time in 6.5 hellish years. I have a hyperthymic temperment and when well I can do a million things at once, but remain extremely focused on each task. That is how I have felt for 4 glorious days.

In those days I have completed 2 paintings (One yesterday and one the day before), and I have began two others. It is remarkable. I sat down to paint yesterday at 10:30 am and finished at 7:30 p.m. I was so engrossed in what I was doing.

This painting is titled "Ascension". Fitting that I painted it on Easter Sunday. I was thinking of lots of things as I painted it. it is a mixed reference to my increase in mood. The obvious portrayal is a cross, yet the Christ figure is a female. She is descending into the ocean (This is the way I would like to commit suicide).

I called it "Ascension" because of the belief that Christ had to die, before he ascended. (The woman is drowning). Sort of a metaphorical description of how I often see my only hope in suicide. I feel in suicide I will at the very least end my suffering, which is better than life when I suffer. Not that I see myself as a Christ figure. According to the bible his death ended others suffering. Suicide would end only my suffering, not others;>)

While I am not really religious I am very interested in religion and probably obsess over it.

I like the idea of the unknown woman under the shroud, chained and bound by something outside herself. Maybe also a reference to how I find it difficult to know who I am. If you look closely the chains around her neck are clasped with a padlock that repeats the cross in the place where the lock would be.

I know there are errors of perception in the painting, and the colours in the picture do not do it justice. The original has more yellow and blue in it. Despite seeing things I need to change in the painting I love what I did here though. It is approximately12 inches my 36 inches.