- "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
- Shut the F$&# up!
- Get all those words and noises and condemnations and all that self-hatred out of my head!
- Please stop!
- Stop thinking! You will never "think" your way out of this mess you have created.
- What the hell did you do to yourself? How did you become this person?
- How did you so drastically lose your way?
- How did you destroy that beautiful and promising little girl?
- How did you become so worthless, when, as a child, you were so valuable?
- What have I done to myself?
- I worked so hard and did so well in school, how did I allow myself to sink so far?
- Why did that sweet little girl become the waste of space she has become?
- Why is she so filled with so much self loathing?
- Was there an exact time I became "worth" less?
I feel so existentially lost and empty. I have absolutely no idea how to survive this life and manage to find something that I am consistently able to do, something I find fulfilling and something I feel contributes, rather than takes away from, society.
I have no sense of purpose, or meaning. I have no sense that I have any value, or any worth. I feel like all I do is take and take. I'm a burden on my family, on the medical system, on the government. I have lost my intrinsic value. I have no idea how to create, or make myself, a useful and valuable human being. I feel really, really lost.