Saturday, January 16, 2010

Electroconvulsive Therapy

I apologize for disappearing offline for so long. I have been in the hospital receiving ECT(electroconvulsive therapy) and have had limited access to my blog.

Since mid-December I have been receiving left-unilateral electroconvulsive therapy 3 times a week; on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. I have had 13 treatments so far and am scheduled to have at least one more this coming Monday.

I am not sure if more are scheduled this coming week, but once I am discharged from the hospital I will be receiving outpatient ECT first probably once a week, then once every couple weeks, and then maintenance ECT will continue at once a month.

How I feel right now is nothing short of miraculous. I have spent most of my adult life battling depression; especially in the last 10 years. In the past 10 years I had very little relief from my mood disorder. I feel like I spent the last 10 years just trying to survive each day.

By the time I entered the hospital I was the closest to suicide I have ever been. I was spending every waking moment planning my demise. I had given up hope. I was completely distraught. I could not take life the way it was anymore.

Today, and for the past week, I feel like I want to live. I feel excited to be alive, happy to be breathing. I feel blessed to be alive. I feel like I have been given a chance again. I feel incredible. I feel hope that I have not felt in a long, long time. I am eternally grateful to everyone who helped, supported and encouraged me to survive this illness and receive the treatment I needed to become well.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

*So* good to hear it worked! Good luck in the future too.

// Long-term reader

Harriet said...

It's so good to hear from you Aqua, and even better to hear that you are doing so well! That's amazing, terrific, fantastic! Inspiring!

merope3 said...

i am so *happy*, both to hear you are OK and to hear that your treatment was everything you hoped it would be. this is wonderful news!

The Silent Voices in my Mind said...

That's WONDERFUL!! I'm truly glad that things are going so well. You deserve to be happy. Congratulations and keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for your update. I have been pulling for you!!!

Coco said...

wow

Anonymous said...

ECT is a treatment that has such stigma associated with it that many psychiatrists don't allow their patients access to it because of their own lack of knowlege. Then there is the misunderstanding by people in general due to the stigma. Thank you for spreading the accurate and positive information about ECT and congratulations on your recovery.

Rach said...

Aqua,
I'm glad you've come back and shared your experiences... I hope things stay on the upward track.
~R

Anonymous said...

is there a blog where people going through ECT can share?I would be very grateful for someone to connect to.
sueellen.LANDWEHR@YAHOO.COM