Monday, May 18, 2009

Disappearing Act

Sorry for the disappearing act. My life has been turned topsy turvy over the past 2 months. I have reopened my blog to all viewers, so you should not have to sign in anymore. Thanks for the support and patience.

For those who were unable to view my blog over the past couple months, here is an update...

1) A couple months ago I became reacquainted with a man I have been really attracted to for a while . Given I was married I felt an obligation to my husband to remain faithful.

2) This time when we crossed paths (this man and I) there was an unbearably powerful electricity between us. I tried to stay faithful, but given the continuing and long term difficulties in my marriage and this new found intense attraction towards another person I began an affair.

3) Within a week or two of beginning the affair my husband discovered what was happening.

4) He kicked me out of our house.

5) I went to a hotel with my dog and began searching for a new home. This was extremely difficult because of the dog. No one wants to rent to a dog owner.

6) Finally I found a place, and over the past month have been moving in and getting organized and settled in my new home. I am almost settled thanks to the help of my girlfriends H and E and my new boyfriend.

7) I have been fraught with guilt about the way I left my husband and how much I hurt him. Despite our differences he was my partner for 18 years and I care about him. I feel guilty, but I also feel a sense of self and individuality that I have not felt in years. I feel like I molded myself and forced myself to become what I thought my husband wanted. Whoever I had become was not me. I feel I am on my way to becoming a stronger me. I feel my "power" coming back.

8) I really like my new friend. He is very approachable, kind, considerate, loving, open, and warm. I feel good about myself with him

9) Welcome to my new life, my new adventure, my times of intense and I believe positive change.

Thanks for reading.


Life said...

Welcome back! Glad you have somewhere sorted now, look forward to reading your updates, glad you have had some people to help you through, take care

Hannah said...

Good luck with your new journey! I will be here reading along!

Hann xx

Dr shock said...

Welcome back, nice to read your posts again, Dr Shock

jcat said...

welcome back, and so glad that you are feeling so positive about the changes.

Harriet said...

So glad you're back - I missed you! I'm glad things are going well, and I'm sorry you feel so much guilt about your marriage. Guilt - ugh.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

Welcome back!! Sorry I haven't been around lately. I can imagine that you would feel a loss from a divorce but it sounds like it was a long time coming. It sounds like it was the right thing to do seeing how much more free and "you" that you feel.

Mich41 said...

Glad you're back! I have missed you also.

Polar Bear said...

Wow. First of all, I'm so glad you are back.

Second of all, it's GREAT to hear you are doing better!!!