Thursday, October 06, 2005

Acceptance

In my last session I asked my pdoc if he thought my medication was helping me. He said, "I don't think it will be any one thing that will help your depression". I took it to mean I need to do lots of different things (medication, more socialization, art, writing, etc.). His body language and the tone in his voice looked and sounded sorrowful though, like he was trying to tell me my depression may never go away.

Last night I woke up thinking about our discussions in previous sessions about acceptance and about really taking advantage of the times I do feel okay, about not allowing the good, or relaxing moments to be muddied by guilt, or stress, or paranoia...I know, I know...easier said than done.

I realize now that I may be severely depressed forever, and I may need to learn to live with that. or live around that. Not quite sure how, and I really do not want to, but I suspect I have to accept was is.

2 comments:

James said...

I've come to a similar realization too. I have come to realize that medication will only help so much.

*SIGH*

Polar Bear said...

Acceptence is the key, I believe.

SOmetimes I look at my illness (I have BPD) as the sort of disease that alcoholism is. It's something you are never "cured" from. It's something you manage to the best of your ability, throughout your entire life.

It means you can have good moments, and there will unfortunately be bad ones. But it's all about dealing with it, and yes, a large part of it is simply acceptence....

Take care
Polar Bear