tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post3550544375559555441..comments2023-10-25T07:20:23.858-07:00Comments on Vicarious Therapy: Kicking and FightingAquahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16230285017033299419noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post-12979346784088464302008-07-29T20:59:00.000-07:002008-07-29T20:59:00.000-07:00I so understand how you feel and how the frustrati...I so understand how you feel and how the frustration of it all can drive you crazy. Please try not to be so hard on yourself. I also struggle with admitting that I am an abuse survivor, depressed, bipolar etc. yet then being angry at myself that I am not "normal". <BR/><BR/>Fighting with yourself just wears you out. As you said, you are doing all you can to get better and that is all you can do. Just remember that you are not alone! <BR/><BR/>Please be easy on yourself and pat yourself on the back for the good things you do to take care of yourself.Tamara (TC) Stapleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00633350990983632539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post-79017361990376694182008-07-28T21:32:00.000-07:002008-07-28T21:32:00.000-07:00Thanks DB, Sv and PB,PB I have internalized my fat...Thanks DB, Sv and PB,<BR/>PB I have internalized my father's criticism, demoralizing comments, humiliation, dismmisiveness of my accomplishments and disapointment in/with me. You are on to something. <BR/><BR/>I am even more critical of myself and my inability to "suck it up" than he ever could be. It is a brutal and difficult pattern to change. Dr. X and I try to work on this, but the behaviour is deeply embedded in my soul and hard to shake.<BR/>...aquaAquahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16230285017033299419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post-43046740720000136432008-07-28T20:26:00.000-07:002008-07-28T20:26:00.000-07:00AquaYou have a serious case of being really hard o...Aqua<BR/>You have a serious case of being really hard on yourself. Yes, it is easier to accept other people's limitations and attribute that to their mental illness. not so easy on yourself. It's a double standard isn't it? I struggle with this too.<BR/><BR/>I think it's also a self esteem issue. It is VERY hard not to put the fault on ourselves. i blame myself for everything. EVERYTHING. It's always my fault - if I'm not feeling good, I'm not doing enough to make myself better - it's easy to blame ourselves isn't it? I grew up in a family where I was the scapegoat. Evrything was my fault. And now as an adult, I've internalised that. Everything is my fault. I truly believe that.<BR/><BR/>It's such a hard place to be, and yet here we are....<BR/><BR/>It's something I'm working on in therapy. I don't have the answers either.Polar Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09042280087446534146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post-39354765477678009882008-07-28T17:56:00.000-07:002008-07-28T17:56:00.000-07:00i am right here with you, aqua. i look at what i c...i am right here with you, aqua. i look at what i can do and can't understand why i can't do the rest. i try to tell people how i am feeling and they tell me to suck it up. i wonder all the time if this is a disease or if i am just a failure.<BR/><BR/>and yet i do not condemn others with the exact same symptoms as i show. it makes no sense but that is how i feel.<BR/><BR/>so, dear aqua, you are not alone.The Silent Voices in my Mindhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07341880178531061836noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post-24363121218495821892008-07-28T13:54:00.000-07:002008-07-28T13:54:00.000-07:00You have articulated very well the same thoughts t...You have articulated very well the same thoughts that nag my brain. Wish I could have written it! <BR/><BR/>It's such a tricky problem - because even though we go to great lengths to compare depression to other biological diseases like diabetes or whatever, the fact is, it is very different. There is no test. No proof that it's biological, per se. And the symptoms overlap with a great many "personality flaws" that "normal" people just put on their list of new years resolutions to overcome.<BR/><BR/>It is so so difficult to figure it all out.<BR/>Thanks for offering a glimpse into your journey.deepbluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06133591516253278088noreply@blogger.com