tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post2091297545394784410..comments2023-10-25T07:20:23.858-07:00Comments on Vicarious Therapy: Disorganized, Disconnected and DespondentAquahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16230285017033299419noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post-27703939155086291742009-06-21T09:55:30.222-07:002009-06-21T09:55:30.222-07:00This is how I feel too lately--well, who am I kidd...This is how I feel too lately--well, who am I kidding. Always. <br /><br /><i>because I can't keep up with life.</i><br /><br />I think a lot of folks in our position can't keep up with house work. And no we aren't lazy. It's hard to do anything when you're constantly depressed. <br /><br />The one I'm embarrassed about most is my poor hygiene. I'm not a smelly person, which helps but It's embarrassing. Still I can't be bothered to do it.Handsome B. Wonderfulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11524517496880481239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14391563.post-40644569926331090942009-06-21T08:10:07.383-07:002009-06-21T08:10:07.383-07:00I am struggling; I think about dying most every wa...I am struggling; I think about dying most every waking moment. I came here trying to find some reason to live besides my 3 children and the pain and shame that killing myself will leave them. What kind of person does that to their kids?<br /><br />I just don't see the point of all this living crap; people are so selfish and don't even realize it. They really think themselves giving and loving and it makes me so sad. <br /><br />When the kids come over to visit, I am recently separated, I go through he motions of being a good father and interacting with them but inside I don't feel anything but sadness and loneliness. They must sense it because they don't really enjoy being around me unless I am doing "fun" things with them such as movies, shows, or amusement parks. I don't think they enjoy being around daddy for daddy's sake.<br /><br />In the last year, I've lost a business, a wife and now my step father is dying and I wish it were me instead and I think about taking his medication and hoarding it for myself. I don't think I'm going to make it pasrt this summer and I have planned both a quiet suicide and also a rampage to "avenge" the people in my life who have wronged me. I long for peace and wonder what is missing in me that I don't seem to have the capacity for relationships and self first attitude that most people seem to have. I don't want to keep struggling with the way I feel and am just working towards the time when I feel it is right to leave; it is getting closer, of that I'm certain.<br /><br />thanks for giving me a place to post this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com