I haven't quite decided what to call it, but I am leaning towards "A Green Burial". It is a cross-section of a river and the land beside and underneath it. Your perspective would be that of a person standing in the middle of the river; somehow seeing both below and above the surface of the river; like a plate of glass was stopping the water and the land and you were viewing it as though it were a display in a museum.
- It will help me learn to take chances with people. Learn to open up and share, despite being afraid I will be a burden on others, or I will scare others, or frighten, or repel others
- It will be practice sharing myself with others even if I am unsure how others will react to me. This is like taking a behavioural approach to my intense fears of embarrassing myself.
Up to now this blog was fairly safe from that because of two things: I do not REALLY know the people reading my blog (although I have supportive online acquaintances and friends...and I thank each of you for your support)...so I think if I did become extremely embarrassed about something I said, or did, there is a sense that I have some distance, or I am not as invested in how someone I have never met reacts to me. Also, While I can walk away from my blog if I become devastatingly shy, or embarrassed, or ashamed, I will still see the people who I know personally and have shared the site with.
I guess what I am trying to say is I am practicing being the real me, in the real world...all the good, bad, mad, sad, up, down me there is. I'm taking chances and hoping it will build and strengthen my relationships with the people I know, in spite of being really fearful that I am leaving myself too open and vulnerable.
So, "E" if you came to visit today, welcome. I hope I do not scare you away with my openness. I also hope we can meet for tea or coffee one day soon. I really enjoyed talking with you today.